My sister isn’t that pretty, is she?

My last boyfriend hated kittens. But I love kittens! I have, like, 25 kittens at home. Don’t you love kittens? You do love kittens, right?

I’ve just had rotten luck with yeast infections over the years.

The army really instilled a sense of observation and surveillance in me.

If Jesus came back to Earth today, would you make the “post-rapture” party?

My father hit me and then left me and my mother alone and penny less when I was 10 years, and he used to wear the same kind of shirts you seem to wear all the time.

I would love a man who wouldn’t be too macho to sponge bath grandpa every few days or so.

My life was empty until I discovered Hummel collecting.

Don’t worry, I’m only loud mouthed, accusatory and belittling after a glass of wine or two.

Those feminist classes I took at college really opened my eyes to how men are completely useless and unnecessary apart from their sperm donating capabilities.

Taking birth control everyday is a real chore! If I had a nickel for every day I missed, we could wipe out the deficit.

My Therapist says all my personalities should be happy with you as both a friend and a lover.

To me, nothing says “I love you” more than the long, boring, unproductive hours together we can spend together each and every weekend. No exceptions. Ever.

What I consider cheating can change from day to day, hour to hour, without any warning or prior notice.

Promise you won’t laugh when you see me do the ballet I learned in grade school?

Kids are the last thing I want in my life right now, believe me!