Vintage Ads Show How Not to Raise Kids
Oh, the good old days. When nursing moms were supposed to drink beer, television was good for kids, smoking wasn’t bad, and cocaine was legal. What the heck were they thinking?
There are many different parenting styles and philosophies out there but I’m sure that none of these ads has anything to do with how kids are raised nowadays. I really do try not to be judgmental about how other people raise their children but it’s amazing how much things change over time…
Blatz beer — so both baby and mom are blatzed! This beer is described as having “Nourishing qualities” and “appetizing, stimulating tonic”. Well, I’m sure everyone slept better at least!
Cute kid. I can’t believe they’d use babies to sell cigarettes back in the day. I’m not sure what they mean by “over-smoked” although I was a smoker for years. Unfortunately, this Marlboro ad is just one of many cigarette ads featuring babies and kids.
This Motorola ad is hysterical. If you own one of their televisions, it will help kids get their homework done promptly. And it will strengthen family bonds to sit around and watch t.v. together. Better behavior at home (because they’re zoned on the t.v.) and better marks at school (as if). I’m sure my kids would love it if this was still how people thought!
Wow. This one is wrong in so many ways. When you think of today’s childhood obesity rates and how many schools have pulled pop from vending machines, this ad seems so ludicrous. At least drinking pop will help them with “fitting in during those awkward pre-teen and teen years”. Yikes.
Oh, and if they’ve had too much television and pop, I guess you’ll have to order the “special” fashion book. Lane Bryant is one of today’s major “plus-sized” retailers. I’m not sure how much business they’d get now if they called it a store for “chubbies”. Those poor girls having to order out of this fashion book.
This weird ad seems to suggest that it’s so safe even a baby could use it. A baby could use a razor??? Begin early, shave yourself? I have no idea what the heck they were thinking with this ad.
This one is just plain funny. You can’t pin that smelliness on the baby — it’s Dad’s bad breath! Hysterical.
Not sure what to get your kids for Christmas? How about guns? Okay, okay. I know some people out there probably do give their kids guns. These are apparently only BB guns (Thanks to Reader Tor for pointing that out). Still a 7 year old with a BB gun? I’m not so sure I want to arm my second grader.
“Absolutely safe” and “Papa says it won’t hurt us”. These people are flipping insane!!! I like how it says these guns are not toys but show a little girl clearly playing with one.
Cocaine toothache drops only fifteen cents. I bet kids feel no pain when they have these!
And if the kids didn’t turn out how you wanted them too…. This ad is just hysterical. It didn’t really fit but I just had to include it based on sheer haha value.
I wonder what people 50 years from now will think of our advertising?