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What Not to Do When You are Stranded Out at Sea

Published by Gourab Modak in Offbeat
August 4th, 2009

This article is supposed to be humorous. For real serious tips, consult a person that has been out at sea for a long time.

It really sucks to be stranded in the middle of nowhere. It’s even worse out at sea. The sea covers more space than land, so once you are lost at sea, you are out of luck. But if you aren’t stupid enough to do these things, you have a good chance of getting rescued and going home. So whatever you do, do not ever do the following things if you are lost at sea.

1. Ride a dolphin back home- You probably saw this happen in movies a lot. The hero is surrounded by sharks with no way out. Then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, these dolphins come out and chase away the sharks, and take the unconscious hero back to home.

Image via Wikipedia

This does not always happen in real life. If you do decide to ride a dolphin back home, remember these things that can go wrong. First of all, a dolphin does not know what you are telling it, and because of that, there is a pretty good chance it won’t understand what you are telling it. Second of all, a dolphin does not know where you came from. Even if you try to tell it where you came from, it can’t understand you. Even if you were able to speak dolphin, would you be able to tell it that you came from Australia. No, you couldn’t, because the dolphin does not know where, what, or when is Australia. And if you could steer it in the right direction, you probably wouldn’t be lost in the first place, would you?

2. Have a food fight- Now this is probably the worst thing you can possibly do. If you are stranded out at sea in a lousy little boat that ran out of gas with little to no food available besides raw fish and seaweed, then this is probably something you shouldn’t do. It would waste your resources and make your ability to live a little smaller. Now we don’t want that, do we?

Image via Wikipedia

3. Paddle away from incoming ships- It doesn’t matter if it’s a ship, boat, submarine, helicopter, space shuttle, or flying saucers. Don’t go away from one unless you know that it is not friendly. If you don’t go to an approaching ship, you will probably not encounter another one any time soon.

Image via Wikipedia

This article was written just as a joke. For real safety tips, ask a professional.

Check out my blog at www.gourabwritersofficialblog.blogspot.com

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  1. Posted August 4, 2009 at 10:15 am

    In retrospect, I think I will just stay on land. LOL. Good one, Pal.

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