Zombie Proof Homes and Natural Disaster Preparedness

Published by in Offbeat
22nd Mar 2017

Thinking about buying a zombie proof home? Don’t until you read this article, which gives zombie preparedness information crucial to your safety and survival in the event of zombie invasion, tornadoes, hurricanes or infectious disease epidemics.

Center for Disease Control and Preparedness (CDC) has released crucial information to help people worldwide prepare for zombie invasions and other disasters: natural and unnatural.  Evidently, anything that you can do to ward off zombie attacks will work against tornadoes, floods, hurricanes and infectious diseases epidemics. Zombies are pesky brain and gut eating living dead creatures, who prey on unsuspecting fully-live humans and will turn you into a zombie by biting you or air-bourne infections.  Now, you could buy a zombie proof home, or take precautions to protect the home you already have.

Zombie Preparedness Home Emergency Kit

Here is a list of essential  items that the CDC recommends to get any home prepared for zombies, pandemics, tornadoes, hurricanes or floods:

Water (1 gallon per person per day):  If for any reason the water is shut off due to possible contamination, you will need plenty of water for drinking, cooking and hygiene.  You can stock up on water, but, keep in mind that water will stagnate; making it harmful to digest.  Therefore, if you stock up on a few gallons of water, mark them clearly with the date they were purchased and the date they will probably expire, which is usually 6 months.  But, should you reach the expiration date, don’t throw them out, they can still be used for hygiene.

Food (stock up on non-perishable items):  Even can goods will expired, however, they do last a very long time.  Remember the manual can opener, zombies don’t eat canned goods; the can opener is for your use.  Zombies are more likely to make a meal of you.

Medication (prescriptions and non-prescription meds)

Sanitation and Hygiene (household cleansers, bath tissue, trash bags, bleach, soap, towels, etc.):  Don’t forget to add feminine products and diapers and wipes for the baby.

Important documents (copies of your driver’s licenses, passports, and birth certificates)

Clothing and Bedding (a change of clothes for each family member and blankets)

First-Aid supplies – include an emergency procedures handbook.  There is no cure for zombie bites.

The complete CDC emergency kit list.

How to Store Your Zombie Home Preparedness Kit

You will want to store these items in a water-proof container.  You can recycle a large plastic 5 gallon paint container with a lid to store some items.  The container can be used make a portable toilet, if necessary; using large garbabe bags.  I suggest using kitty litter with your porta-potty.  Plus, you can purchase backpacks for each family member to store their change of clothes and personal items. Store the kit along with the backpacks out of the way, but, easily accessible in case of an emergency.  Create a preparedness kit for your car as well.

Establish an Emergency Plan

Meet with the family and discuss a detailed plan.  Know what natural disasters are common to your area, although, zombies are everywhere.  Have a general meeting place for family members to regroup, should a disaster happen when you are apart.  Be specific, i.e. at the mall by the welcome sign (zombies would never think of that).  Make an emergency contact list with direct numbers to the police and fire department.  Remember that, if the disaster is citywide, these agencies will be swamped, so, don’t expect immediate response.  Have in mind several evacuation routes, should you have to leave your neighborhood and/or city.  Have an out of town contact list, so that you can notify family members that you are doing well.  If you are forced to leave your home, shut off your gas lines to protect your home and keep water from getting into the lines, in the event of a flood.