1. Do people tell you that you look like your mum?

a) Sometimes,

b) All the time, or

c) Never

2. Do you make a concentrated effort not to be like your mum?

a) No – why should you?

b) No – you don’t have to

c) Occasionally – when you recognise some of her faults in yourself

3. Which of the following descriptions is the nearest to the way you’d describe your mum?

a) She means well, but she gets on your nerves sometimes

b) She’s great – the best mum in the world

c) She’s OK, but you don’t like the way she treats you

4. Do you feel the same way about your dad as your mum does?

a) Yes – her opinion of him and her feelings towards him have definitely rubbed off on you

b) No – you see him in a quite different way to the way your mum sees him

c) Your opinions differ slightly

5. Do you ever borrow your mum’s jumpers?

a) Only if all your own jumpers are in the wash

b) Never – even if they did fit, they’d look vile

c) Yes – you have very similar taste in clothes

6. When you get your hair cut, do you go to the same hairdresser as your mum?

a) Yes – but only because they’re cheap

b) No – you wouldn’t be seen dead at Hair Today salon

c) Yes – and they do a jolly nice trim too

7. Your best mate’s failed her exams and is really upset. Do you:

a) Remember your wise old mum and use some her advice to comfort your friend,

b) Have advice and several soothing cliches at the ready. You know how to deal with these situations, or

c) Feel a bit awkward and mumble that you don’t really know what to do or say, but do the best you can?

8. You and your mum have a row. What is it most likely to be about?

a) Your differing political or religious views

b) What you want to watch on the telly

c) A new friend

9. Which member of The Simpsons family are you most like?

a) Marge/Homer

b) Lisa/Bart

c) Maggie/Santa’s Little Helper (their dog)

10. How many of the following have you found yourself doing in the last month? (Tick the ones you’ve done.)

* Cringed at one of your mum’s “jokes”

* Groaned when she put on her favourite “sounds”

* Stifled a snigger at her new “hairdo”

* Disagreed with one of her little “gems of wisdom”

* Taken a “groovy” item of clothing or something else she’s bought you back to the shop

Now add up your scores. (If you chose answer a) to question 1, for example, put a circle around the number 2.)

a b c

1. 2 3 1

2. 3 1 2

3. 2 3 1

4. 3 1 2

5. 2 1 3

6. 2 1 3

7. 3 2 1

8. 1 3 2

9. 3 1 2

10. Subtract one point for each one you’ve ticked (maximum of 5)

Add up all the numbers you’ve circled – questions 1 to 9 – then subtract your score for Question 10. Then check your results below…

CONCLUSIONS

If you scored 4 – 11, you’re YOU – and there’s no doubt about it. You’ll be pleased – nay, relieved – to hear that there’s little or no chance of you turning into your mum. One of her is quite enough, thank you very much. It’s not that you hate her… it’s just that you have so little in common that you’d have to try very hard to be like her. And that’s something you’re not prepared to do. Whether you look like her or not (if you do, you’ll dress completely differently to her in an effort not to), you have completely opposing views on life, the universe and everything, and if you want to avoid rowing 24 hours a day, you must simply agree to differ. And differ you will.

If you scored 12 – 19, you’re ON THE TURN. Yikes! Either you’re getting old before your time or your chromosomes have finally won the battle. You don’t really make a conscious effort not to be like her, and because of that you may find yourself speaking and thinking in similar ways to her. She sometimes irritates you, but only because she happily goes around with all YOUR bad points – ones you’d much rather keep hidden – on full and shameless display. Her views and opinions affect you more than you realise and although you don’t agree on everything, you agree on all the important things. She sometimes treats you like a baby something you, strangely, don’t actually mind. But, hang on, we may be over-reacting a bit here – being like your mum isn’t altogether bad news, because your mum is probably a very nice person. And so are you. Probably.

If you scored 20 – 27, you’re AS ONE. Yes, you and your ma are practically the same person. You have loads in common, with the same taste in almost everything. You share everything too, from jackets to opinions. You sound like her, act like her and, chances are you look like her too. You rarely argue and you wouldn’t dream of laughing at her or criticising her. Why, it would be like laughing at yourself! You are hers, the fruit of her loins, and you like it that way. And why shouldn’t you? After all, your mum’s a truly OK person… Isn’t she?