1. The food network channel is like porno to you.

2. The way jello shakes turns you on.

3.You can not see your feet.

4.When people ask you what animal makes you think of your self  you say a hippo.

5.Your fingers remind you of big plums.

6.You fat crack when you move.

7.Your muffin top has muffin tops.

8.You have more than two chins.

9.You have lost things in your love handles.

10.People congratulate you for being the third pregnant man.